Funny Dentist Jokes


What time is it when you must go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.

Why did the termite eat a sofa and two chairs? It had a suite tooth.

Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do? Dentist: Wear a brown tie.

What does the dentist of the year get? A little plaque

Be kind to your dentist because he has fillings too.

Pardon me for a moment, please," said the dentist to the victim, "but before beginning this work I must have my drill." "Good heavens, man!" exclaimed the patient irritably. "Can't you pull a tooth without a rehearsal?"

What does a dentist do on a roller coaster? He braces himself

Man: "Darling, your teeth remind me of the stars" Woman: "Because they gleam and sparkle" Man: "No, because they come out at night!"

Where does the dentist get his gas? At the filling station

A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn't nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth. The dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."

A dentist with a toothache could have a bad impact on his patients.

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His drill slipped.

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

A lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer.

My dentist seems distracted, I think he was brushing me off.

What did the dentist say to the golfer? "You have a hole in one."

Larry: I'm suffering from bad breath. Craig: You should do something about it! Larry: I did. I just sent my wife to the dentist.

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out? He was already taking out a tooth

Why is the Tooth Fairy so smart? She has a lot of wisdom teeth.

Fred: "Have you ever come across a man who, at the slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble in every fiber of your being?" Ruth: "Yes, the dentist."

Why did the tree go to the dentist? To get a root canal

What did the vampire call his false teeth? A new fangled device.

As the judge said to the dentist: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?

A husband and wife entered the dentists office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I dont want gas or Novocain because Im in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.""Youre a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear." My cavity wasn't fixed by my regular dentist, but by a guy who was filling in.

What to do you call an old dentist? A bit long in the tooth

What did one tooth say to the other? Get your cap on, the dentist is taking us out tonight.

Going to the dentist can be very full filling.

A patient sits in the dental chair with severely fractured front teeth. After discussing with the dentist how they will be restored and what the fee would be the patient says, 'Before you start, I gotta know: Will I be able to play the piano when you are finished?'The dentist replies 'Sure you will!' The patient replies 'Great, I couldn't play a note before!'

What did one tooth say to the other tooth? "Thar's gold in them thar fills."

The dentist put braces on his patient as a stop-gap measure.

I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill. A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window? Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

What did the dentist say to the computer? This won't hurt a byte

What has teeth but no mouth? A comb or a saw.

Father: Don't you feel better now that you've gone to the dentist? Son: Sure do. He wasn't in.
Mother: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet? Son: I don't know. The dentist kept it

"Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good grief!" he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen... the biggest cavity I've ever seen." "OK Doc!" replied the patient. "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice." "I didn't!" said the dentist, "That was the echo."

What did the tooth say to the departing dentist? Fill me in when you get back.

Ricky: You said the school dentist would be painless, but he wasn't. Teacher: Did he hurt you? Ricky: No, but he screamed when I bit his finger.

When I went to the dentist for some root canal work, I lost my nerve.

Why is 4,840 square yards like a bad tooth? Because it is an acre.

A dentist gets on everybody's nerves.

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth.The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"The man replies, "all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious ... Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything.""Well," says the dentist, "thats probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. Its eaten away your upper plate. Ill make you a new plate, and this time use chrome.""Why chrome?" asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, "Its simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

Why did the king go to the dentist? To get his teeth crowned.

Patient: How much will it cost me to have this tooth extracted? Dentist: $300 Patient: $300 for just a few minutes work, that expensive. Dentist: OK. I'll pull it out slowly if you prefer.

Kenny was sitting in the waiting room after getting his tooth extracted. The receptionist asked him how he was feeling. "I'm okay" he said, "but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used during the extraction." "What did he say?" asked the nurse alarmed. "Oops!" replied Kenny.

Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?...A month later he was picking his teeth

Contemplating my imminent root canal was deeply unnerving.

Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania? Dracula's dentist.

Why didn't the monster use toothpaste? Because he said his teeth weren't loose.

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "Eighty dollars," the dentist says. "That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?" "Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an anesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60." "Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much." "Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20." "Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"

I got my job at the dentist's office by word of mouth.

What's the best thing to put into a pizza? Your teeth.

Dentists don't like a hard day at the orifice.

A Dentist is the most suitable male profession - the only man that can tell a woman when to open and when to shut her mouth, and get away with it.

Anyone know the six most frightening words in the world? "The Dentist will see you now."